No means no.

99.7% of the time they say what they mean. 

Get that part into your head and you  might just make it through the exhausting wilderness of love. 

I’m not entirely sure  I am the best person to give any advice on love. I am in the grey area of I’m uncertain I’ve ever been in love. Or perhaps my love is sort of like childbirth. You know how women say that the love you feel for the baby and the passing of time makes you forget the pain (partial bullshit cz everyone’s mum loves to grafically describe your entrance to the world via your exit of her). I think the time and distance makes it easy for me to question was that love? It’s the moments I love possibly not the person. 

I have learnt one thing in my relationship history and it’s the only thing that helps me feel like I have some idea of what is going on. 

Men are not women. 

Bloody hell I bet that’s knocked you for 6! 

Men (MOST so calm the fuck down I am just generalising) will not meet you at the airport if they say they weren’t going to meet you at the airport. They won’t suddenly fall in love with you and want to be in a relationship after you’ve been banging for 6 weeks cz you said you want to just bang. They won’t buy you a Christmas present when you say “Don’t get me anything.” They certainly will not celebrate Valentine’s Day out of the blue when you say that you don’t. 
Stop expecting things to be done and just be realistic. It saves you a lot of emotional energy and saves them feeling confused and agitated by you.  I mean if you want a relationship then perhaps say that from the start. If you want to celebrate (a huge waste of money) Valentine’s Day then just fecking tell the poor bastard. I mean men can be irritating without you setting them up to fail. 

Please let your heart be spared from further breakage by you knowing what you want and saying it. 
This blog post was brought to you by a total hypocrite. 

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