I will have to be a bedding lady.

At the tender age of 16 I imagined my life to have turned out very differently to how it has. I would be at least married by 23 and popping out a sprog by 25.

Well the thought of giving up my beautiful time and immaculate vomit free clothing sends shudders down my spine. As my lovely nanny says I’m far too young for that nonsense! (I think in her eyes I am still 16) 

And as I’m in no rush to settle down and marry I feel there is a very strong possibility I could miss the boat. Lots of my friends are either married or engaged to be. At 16 I was going to be Charlotte from Sex and The City and now I’m slowly morphing into Carrie. 

The idea of cat lady came to my mind until I thought about the cat hairs, kitty litter and my super delicate nose. Then I saw a french poodle on TV and though “Awwww so cuuuute!” I could just get a cute dog and be a single lady with a lovely home and a stylish dog.


This was until I took a dog for a walk.


I now realize I am unable to have any animal. Firstly, the walk was lovely but after a pack of dogs (I swear they were actually bears) surrounded my tiny poochie and I thought it was the end for little Archie, I discovered that other dogs near my dog scare the beejesus out of me. The little thing could be bitten, mawled and all sorts and so could I too. Secondly, poo. Oh my life it is gross! I never want to have to pick up a warm curly sausage of stench. Having a dog means you are voluntarily signing up to poop touching.  

I’ve just resigned to the fact that my house will just have to be filled with luxury bedding and not pets.


Sorry Animal Kingdom I’m just too pathetic for you!


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