Top ways to avoid writing an essay.

  1. Start a blog.

So yeah you gots me, I’m a bad girl. I have a 1500 word essay, a lil baby one I know, due Monday and set a month ago and I’m here writing a blog. FACT: before I wrote the word fact there were more sentences that made sense than there are in my essay right now. I have devoted more time to this blog than most of my University work this term. And do you know what that means?

It means I’m pathetic because I haven’t even written that many blogs…some of them are photos for crying out loud!

2. Watch New Girl

I love Zooey Deschanel. I freak out about being over 21 (ask and I will say it’s one of the anniversaries of my 21st and I will walk away) but she is 30 and makes 30 look cool, cute and quirky. She rocks all the adjectives with that cuh sound. I would call her my icon. For shizzle!

3. Paint your nails

Now boys don’t feel excluded by this because it’s actually very therapeutic! It’s amazing how you can go from being really spotty, fat, ugly and hairy to outrageously hot just by painting your nails. It’s the little things. I swear that tiny change of colour and I’m all like Independent woman Beyoncé/Lady Gaga/Madonna/Bette Middler up in your grill. And it’s like I’ve lost 5 pounds.

4. Research egg donation

This seems like a weird one yeah but who isn’t interested in how much their free range organics are? I heard not that long ago on the radio a news piece about the lack of eggs donated by people under 35 and I was all “Hmm…I’m listening…”

The answer is £750 for 10-15 eggs which I was insulted by. That’s like top price £75 per egg, I probably only have like 324 (yeah that’s a totally random guess. I did not just try and work out when I would hypothetically go through the change and times 12 by the number of years) so they are top class eggs and to be fair really rare as I only share 50% of my DNA with 4 other people. So giving up on egg donating.

5. Play the ASOS game

The game is pretty simple. Buy lots of stuff from ASOS, try it all on and be horrified how bad it looks or try to convince yourself you need it then return it all. Great game!

6. SnapChat

Here’s a snapchat of me eating. Here is one of me pretending to cry about my essay. Here is a video of me dancing to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_I4wtNPv5w . Here is a picture of my eye all scrunched up to look rude to trick you that it’s rude and then call you dirty minded for thinking it’s rude. You get the jist. It’s time wasting at it’s best. Distract me charlesywhitham !!!

Well so far that’s all I have. I am going to return to my essay then probably sack it off in 5 minutes to think of another blog with 6 more ways to prat about. I agree with most people “Students ARE lazy!” (most)

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