Taking one for the team

During my first term at University I wasn’t very social. I am not shy by any means, I just don’t feel the need to impress people by kissing their butts. Not that I think I am better than anyone I just like to work things out first before I commit to being someone’s bestest friend in the whole wide world (and I had a boyf so, you know, distractions).

Anyway I had to make that change second term because I found that my course offered little interaction with others and I needed a way to enjoy myself but meet people outside of a seminar. So I joined Women’s Rugby. I may be the only person who stalked all the players until I could find out when they were practicing. I found a few thanks to Facebook; stalkers legal aid (I do not endorse Facebook, I could have used any other social networking site and I definitely do not endorse stalking!).

Well that was pretty good even though I joined so late and I was terrible. Watching Rugby and playing Rugby are not the same! My brain knew lots of cool things but weirdly even after sitting for three years as a season ticket holder at Leicester Tigers (I do endorse Leicester Tigers, there are no other teams worth supporting! Except maybe London Irish for their hot players) my body didn’t do those cool things. I actually scarred my knee at a training session, not from a really cool, tough tackle but slipping over in the mud. That’s how untrained my body is. Thankfully I was in a team where people are nice and try to help you and stop you looking like a plonker.

I remember the first match I was in. It was a great honour being there in my fresh kit and clean boots. The sun was shining. There was a lovely breeze that carried the scent of summer. I stood at the edge of the pitch waiting and then my big moment came…

The team said I was the best Hydration Monitor ever!

Anyway sadly rugby season has ended and my boots have been hung up for the year. I will join again next year and take what I have learnt with me.

But now a lot of the team has moved on to cricket. I have never played cricket in my whole life and probably only watched 10 seconds before begging for the channel to be changed. I was fairly glad I had a lot of work to do so I wouldn’t have to do cricket. The rugby coach must have been seriously desperate because when they were short of players he contacted me. I agreed and thought, “Hey sure, why not? It’s for the good of the university.”

Well I was a bag of nerves today when I got there. I looked stupid in my oversize t-shirt and leggings and I felt stupid. I actually asked how to hold the bat. Then my friend took me to one side and gave me some practice and I seemed to improve. I was actually enjoying it. Then the call came up for me to bat. I was feeling pretty good now and loving all the accessories. I have always had a head for hats and the leg thingys did look pretty cool.

I ran up. Got into position. Nervous but excited. The bowler took her position and started to run. The ball left her hands and….

…smacked right into my crotch!

I winced and tried to contain screaming many many profanities (somehow they just seem wrong to say in cricket). The helmet was protecting my face from more than just the ball but people seeing the shade changes from white to purple to red.

So if anyone says that I am not committed to my university I beg to differ. Try taking a cricket ball at 60mph to the crotch and that should quell any doubts!


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